Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Kind Is Better Than Right

Today I'm posting a short paragraph excised from my book-in-progress (which I probably shouldn't talk about because it might jinx everything, but whatever):

I try to limit my criticism of other people's clothes. After all, they're just living their lives, and they have no obligation to be aesthetically pleasing to me. None at all. Chances are they like what they're wearing; they think it looks good. I can't contradict that, or say they're wrong for liking what they like. Emotional reactions are not right or wrong; they simply exist.

nice to be nice

19 comments :

  1. You're right. I tend to only express criticism when people are just lazy with how they look. If someone has some sort of stylistic point of view, I'm okay with anything. Though it really doesn't affect me how someone else dresses, I know how much better a person can feel (and be perceived which can help them in ways too) even wearing a well fitting pair of jeans and comfy blouse rather than sweats all day.

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    1. Lazy with how they look... Can you imagine someone having more important things to expel their energy on other than what they wear?

      Why the hell would you express criticism towards anyone for what they wear, EVER? Maybe they're busy with kids, or school, or work, or taking care of ill parents, or divorce, or maybe they can't afford better clothes. Or maybe ALL of these things.

      What a superficial point of view.

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    2. Wow, there are some strong opinions here. I agree with you Jamie that what someone wears can have a big effect on their mood, as well as how they'll be seen by other people. Anonymous, I think you make some good points, but please keep it civil, okay?

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  2. I think this is a really good perspective. It's one thing if people ASK for critiques, but honestly some people just don't care. Or they think they look great even if you don't. Live and let live!

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  3. The great thing about clothes is that they exist in all their shapes and forms to help us enjoy our lives, whether that means we lean toward what is practical and comfortable or cheap or reach for something more abstract or high art or whatever. People often think I'll judge them for what they wear because I'm so into fashion, but I actually just really enjoy seeing what people put together.

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  4. A book! How exciting! :-D

    It's funny, you know. I like to think that I was never judgemental (don't we all? LOL!) but I know as I've gotten older that I've started to notice less what people wear than how they are. For example, there's a lady I see every day who wears full, PERFECT 1940's dress. Every day. Her clothes are all vintage, and flawless. Her makeup and hair are all done exactly. Her shoes are vintage - even her stockings have the line up the back. It's al perfect and amazing. But her attitude, my goodness. When she needs to give you something, she'll breeze past, thrust it at you without looking in your direction, and say (if anything at all) 'Here' before she marches on. If you don't take it fast enough (so that she can just keep walking and not stop), you get an irritable little shake of the item.

    I think she looks stunning, and I wholeheartedly admire her commitment and the effort she puts into the way she looks, but it all kind of crumbles when the person's attitude is so sad...

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    1. Awwww =/ I know what you mean. You can judge a book by its cover but the story is what really matters!

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  5. I'm both interested in clothing and not interested in clothing. It can say a lot about the person wearing it or it can say nothing it all. The only thing I am not ambivalent about is that it is good to be nice..yes!

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  6. Some days (like today), mismatched and sweatpants are all I can muster in the morning rush.
    (Also why I've stopped doing outfit posts as much!)

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    1. It's such a relief to just not worry about it sometimes

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  7. It's funny because I think most properly nice people try to limit their criticisms of other people's clothes. And yet we all do to some extent or another. That you can realize that, though, and try to make a conscious decision not to judge, separates you from a lot of people.

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It's lovely to hear from you!

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