Planning Purchases

// Etsy // deviantART //

It is considered rude to discuss personal finances. Not when we're using general terms--the specifics are what's touchy. You can't directly ask someone how much money they made this year, just like you can't ask a middle-aged woman how old she is. TODAY Money addresses this phenomenon:

"Although the theme of money seems to endlessly get discussed, most of this talk cleverly keeps money at an arm's length away: It’s about other people’s wealth or lack thereof, how to make money, how to lose it, banking, taxes, the economy, etc. But when it comes to our personal money, it’s a very different matter. Personal money feels private. There is a loud silence in the room when we talk about our personal finances.

Attitudes about money can expose the deepest aspects of our personality or insecurities. We have a feeling, largely unconscious, that it might reveal too much about us. It might reveal our irrationality, impulsiveness and the unthought-out nature of our money attitudes."

I disagree with the emphatic framing of that last bit, as if it were a fact and not conjecture, but the hypothesis is intriguing. If you prefer a scholarly source, The Psychology of Money says:

"Money is frequently discussed--the tax rates, cost of living, price of property--but remains a taboo topic. Celebrities and ordinary mortals seem happier to talk about their sex lives and mental illnesses long before their monetary status, salary or frequent financial transactions. Secrets about money matters are surprising in our [American] society but not in all cultures. In the openly materialistic cultures of South-east Asia, enquiries into others' and open discussion of one's own financial affairs seem quite acceptable." [Please note that the stated difference between America and SE Asia is the openness, not the materialism itself.]

Bishop Mark Hanson told Portico Benefit Services, "Money is such a private issue, and so often it's loaded with feelings of guilt, and maybe bitterness, and even resentment." [Bold added.]

I could go on quoting for ages--this Huffington Post column is interesting--but I want to eventually get to my point. The paragraphs above are meant to preface the fact that I am going to disclose some specifics about my financial situation, because I don't see a rational reason why I shouldn't.

// Money Man //

Recently my mother mentioned that to her money means freedom, whereas to my dad money means security. In terms of fiscal attitudes, I resemble my father. Now that I am supposedly an adult, I feel tremendously guilty and anxious about not being financially independent.

Here's a brief overview of my situation: I live with my parents and have a part-time job. I do pay rent and contribute to household expenses, but my contribution is based on a percentage of my income rather than on the actual cost of my existence. When you factor in medication and therapy, both of which are pretty damn necessary, the $380 payment seems paltry. (Initially I wanted to give everything to my parents, but they insisted that it would be unhealthy.)

Anyway, my projected gross income for February is $760. (Keep in mind that I live in the Bay Area, where the cost of living is staggeringly high.) This is how I divide up what I make: a third for taxes, half for my parents, and a sixth for spending or saving. That leaves $125 for February fun. (Or I could be very sensible and not touch it, but hahaha no.)

As much as I love thrift shops, I want to support endeavors to manufacture new things in an ethical manner. But I am having a hard time deciding where to devote funds in order to maximize my dollars-to-satisfaction ratio. There are a few candidates, several from this series, but that's actually kind of a dilemma (albeit a good one as shopping problems go). How do I pick between so many options?

I am considering MakrBox, which Unpack the Box describes thus: "MakrBox is an indie subscription that features handmade items that are that are beautiful, artful and sustainable." The service's website offers similar thoughts: "MakrBox is a response to the big-factory, made-in-China, disposable product culture we live in. We [...] focus on truly unique handcrafted goods built by independent makers. Every product we ship is carefully chosen and must meet our strict requirements of sustainable production, artful craftsmanship and thoughtful design." The concept is right, but not all of the products appeal to me.

I guess I will keep seeking for a retailer that enchants completely. I don't want to buy for the sake of buying.

// Eva Senin Pernas //

In closing, a caveat: I know that my situation is tremendously privileged. Every day I consider where I would be if my parents couldn't support me, and feel a weird kind of hypothetical dread. (At this point in time, my mental illness makes me unable to function without significant support.) That said, I also know that I have middle-class myopia, so please feel free to offer criticism. I appreciate being given opportunities to expand my perspective!