Some days you just feel ugly. Maybe there's a reason--for instance, your skin might be flaring up--or maybe you can't pinpoint what it is that makes it so uncomfortable and unpleasant to look in the mirror. Regardless, those days happen, and you have to handle them. As you might have guessed, this was one of those days. I put on makeup and a pretty headscarf just for these photos. Immediately after I finished taking them, I wiped it all off and snapped two selfies with my iDevice:
I don't look the most awful, but I don't look as good as I do in the fancy photos. And I didn't feel good in any of them! I wish my emotions/self-worth weren't so tied to my perception of my appearance. I like the idea of a reality where people are worthy and wonderful regardless how they look, but I didn't grow up in that reality and I certainly don't live in it now.
I don't really have a point that I'm getting to... just expressing my feelings, I guess. But if any of y'all have thoughts on this topic, I'd love to hear them!
I can relate to the idea of emotions being tied to perception of self. When I was a teenager I was filled with so much self-hate. I would literally stand in the mirror everyday and call myself ugly. When I got a bit older I slowly realized that I was comparing myself to other people way too often, and that everyone is beautiful in their own way. While I may not have some of the features that I used to think would make me more beautiful, I have the face that I have and I may as well get used to it. Some days are still very hard, and it's difficult to not think down on myself. A lot of our self-image has to do with how we feel about ourselves, so something I also did to help was start exercising more and pursuing activities that forced me to not think about my appearance, as well as make me feel better about myself on the inside, which led to me feeling a bit more confident about my outward appearance. It's a challenge but it's possible! <3
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