Friday, January 24, 2014

Ex-actly

black pashmina scarf, eggplant purple cardigan, teal skinny jeans

Is "basic" another word for "boring"? Sometimes I think so, but today I needed the comfortable simplicity of solid colors and easy pieces. This morning I went out for coffee with my ex-boyfriend.

Before I get into that, let me say that The Butler and the Chef has the nicest waitress. My ex tipped her more than the bill because she was so sweet to us. Plus there was this adorable menu:

The Butler and the Chef in San Francisco - cute restaurant menu

(We sat outside.) Anyway, I was nervous about seeing him. Part of the reason we ended things was that we had started fighting a lot. We didn't have a bad breakup, as breakups go, but it was heart-wrenching, as breakups tend to be. Besides, isn't it inherently awkward to talk to an ex? Luckily, things went well. We chattered away, and laughed, and I drank so much coffee that I got caffeine jitters.

What I'm getting to (very indirectly) is that although dressing for every occasion under the sun is well-discussed, fashion magazines and the like rarely mention dressing for your emotions. Or if they do, I've been missing those issues. For me, this is a tentative-but-hopeful outfit. What would my angry-and-on-the-offence outfit consist of? Or what I would pick for an outflirt? I guess I know the answer to the latter: a short, swingy dress and bright lipstick. Not a surprising choice.

black pashmina scarf, eggplant purple cardigan, teal skinny jeans black pashmina scarf, eggplant purple cardigan, teal skinny jeans

20 comments :

  1. i've never met up with an ex before, but i feel like i'd be super jittery, and maybe even a little flirty haha. it'd be hard to turn of them old feelings! and i feel like i always dress with my emotions- you wake feeling a little different every day and sometimes pieces just feel *wrong*. so are you guys going to keep hanging out? yes, im a nosey rosey ;)

    xo marlen
    Messages on a Napkin

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    1. Exactly! And yep, I think we're gonna see each other again. Meep :3

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  2. I approve of dressing for your emotions x1,000. Much more sound advice than the occasion (which emotions often mirror).

    Sends you like a ka-jillion strength. Meeting up with ex-boyfriends zaps all energies.

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    1. You're so right--emotion & occasion are often tied! And seriously, thank you. Ka-jillion strength helps.

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  3. I pleased you have managed to keep thing amicable. Good choice of colours x

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  4. We have noticed at school that often many of us will wear the same shades on the same day. I have come to wonder if weather and mood (atmosphere) combined don't influence our color choices in clothes, at least.

    I do, however, like your basic look here and do not find it at all boring!

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    1. That's really interesting, and I bet you're right! Also, thank you :)

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  5. You bring up a good point about emotions and personal style choices on a given day. Are you saving the bright lipstick and swingy dress for the second date? HAHA! :D

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    1. hahaha shhhh that's not exactly what I'm gonna do or anything =P

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  6. Love the outfit, as usual :-) I'm glad you had a positive time meeting your ex - I would indeed agree that there are few things more awkward than chatting on a 'normal' basis to someone you have shared much more with. Especially if you broke up (as opposed to just sort of amicably drifting apart without ever sitting down and letting the axe fall.

    Lisa Eldridge has a great video on makeup for meeting the ex - have you ever seen it? I love her stuff in general, but especially her girly/adivce type videos!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKY4O0RIn0M

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    1. I had never heard of this lady, but now I think I'm gonna spend like five hours watching her videos!

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    2. I know, right? She's so lovely, you kind of can't stop watching..and she has such a healthy, practical, modern approach to makeup and giving advice about it.

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    3. Yeah, really sweet and talented!

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  7. You couldn't be more right. I've worked at a few magazines, and dressing for your emotions isn't something you hear about very often. I would kind of love to recruit you to write something about it, just saying. I think you chose a solid outfit for the "occasion." It's simple. It's got a seriousness to it, but in that semi-carefree-kind-of-way that doesn't make it seem like you spent too much of your time thinking about the meet-up.

    To be honest, I've stayed "friends" with only one ex, and it's primarily because we were best friends before we dated. I don't think either of us couldn't totally cut the other out. We don't spend an incredible of time talking, because he's still in Colombia. But when we do, it's pretty comfortable. Granted it's been many years. In terms of short-term relationships/casual things, I'd be super awkward meeting up with anyone, and would probably end up jittery from anxiety! Theoretically, it should be the other way around I think.

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    1. That's really interesting--both things! I have several exes who I feel really angry and resentful about, and seeing them would be pretty hellish.

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  8. Yeah I'd imagine that could be awkward! I'm glad you survived though!
    And simple definitely doesn't have to be boring! I like the color combination in this outfit a lot.

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    1. Thank you! I was worried that I'd look too eggplant-y, but the pants are thankfully a true teal rather than green.

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  9. I love your tentative yet hopeful outfit!

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It's lovely to hear from you!

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