Romantic Separates

Short sleeves yesterday, and tank tops today! December has arrived, but winter hasn't. Whatever, California. I'm gonna get jazzed up about ~the holiday season~ anyway. This afternoon I made Marlen's pumpkin spice cookies, which were delicious. Tomorrow I'm going to sew a Christmas-themed bow tie for Ben's adorable corgi.

It's awkward to have a semi-reciprocated crush on someone who lives far away. I know he likes me and thinks I'm cute, but I don't know if he likes me, you know? I feel like I'm back in middle school, dithering about how to flirt right. The distance doesn't help. And things are further complicated because I'd rather be pursuing women (in general), but I'm much more timid and unsure when it comes to the ladies. I've wondered endlessly about why that is, and I think it's mainly lack of experience. I've only had one relationship and a handful of hookups with girls, whereas I've had more heterosexual experiences than I can count. Plus, our culture is so oriented toward the male gaze. I've been thoroughly trained when it comes to romantic interactions with men, but not with women.